The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.
The alchemical tension between control and spontaneity.
I've always loved things that straddle the worlds of both technical precision and wholehearted spontaneity. When things are too measured and straight, too exact, it's like my body goes to sleep and numbs out, a bit like how we might feel in an in an airport. It's functional, and I appreciate what it's for, but it's not enlivening.
Similarly, when there's too much abandon and disregard for form, things seem dishevelled and uncared for.
Some art has been created to communicate something important, a point we need to know about, a moment in time culturally that the artist wanted intentionally for us to see and remember. Some artwork is political, some is conceptual. There is no end to the variety of communication. I've always been drawn to the heart of things. The spirit. An old oak table covered in marks from families and friends over a hundred years, these things speak to me, plastic just doesn't.
It doesn't matter how many interiors magazines I see them doing great things with plastic, I'm not their customer. It's too clean, I don't feel relaxed.
People often doubt their artistic expression because they've been shown so much art and design that is highly strategic and considered, highly marketed, and everyone is supposed to agree to its value in the world. When people then attempt to coax something into being that comes from within, it seems like it doesn't measure up.
I feel we fear the dishevelled at this point in time, but there may and I'm sure have been times where people feared order and structure. In terms of the emotional landscape I see, I witness people incredibly held together, almost like they're gasping for air, holding...it...all. We are at an all time high in mental health crisis world wide, so I feel my role right now, as we all have a role, is to encourage a wider emotional range. I advocate for messy feelings and will always remind you that being human is a wild ride, you might as well feel all the wild textures.
I spoke with a lovely man recently who was telling me about his girlfriend's growing jewellery business, her work is very beautiful, and I offered my cheer and enthusiasm. He told me he's trying to get her to work directly into the wax, but that she prefers to sketch the design before she attempts to realise it in wax, and later metal.
I truly don't believe that either way is superior of inferior. Both are important. I think it's good to know which one we naturally lean more towards so that we can support our artistic practice, as well as ourselves in our lives in general.
Do you fear the spontaneity of direct work? Improvisation? Or perhaps the thought of planning scares you? I am the latter ! This isn't an opportunity to judge ourselves, more a measuring stick to see what could use some nourishment.
The artistic path is holding the tension between the duality of control and spontaneity, and not trying to neaten it. We have to be able to hold the big energy required of us. The uncertainty is electric and will keep us awake at night, there will be tears shed and there will be so many hum drum boring days we will be brought to our knees. And then, if we can relax, something might shift and a felt sense of full body pleasure will be all that is happening. Mmmm, that's good. Then, anxiety will come, then ideas, then another project and on and on and on.
There is nowhere to land and no place that will be final, which is why holding the tension between the extremes is the initiation that brings the goods.
If you, dear one reading this, are stuck in your life, or with your creative practice, I offer you this to consider.
Bring to mind the most challenging edge in your life right now, a relationship, a situation, an addiction you're struggling with, and then bring to mind the thing that feels the most in flow, the most natural and spontaneous. Now, consider that they are merely the two furthest poles of your experience. This rich, vast, varied human experience.
Do you have a secret feeling that life will be all good once the challenge stops? Once that is sorted out then you'll be able to be in flow?
Well, this isn't the case.
(Please note, I'm referring to every day life challenges here, I'm not referring to situations of harm or abuse or anything else that would require our immediate attention)
So, bringing this back to our creative practice, and making it frankly juicier, more embodied and part of our integrated and emotionally intelligent human experience, here's how this relates...
We have been conditioned to view our lives both internally and externally in terms of all the grit having been neatened out. This means that we UNCONSCIOUSLY attribute challenging emotions and psychic material as FAILURE and that we're not thriving. This couldn't be further from the truth. The more energy there is, the more energy there is. Emotions aren't good or bad, they're energy.
The most integrated people are those who aren't afraid of their own pain, and I would say pleasure. Those who are willing to go to the underworld of their own experience and find those gold coins, that those who know how to see them will see them. The trick, is coming back from the intensity, from the high, or the low, and using the wisdom of the experience in our lives.
Consider again the two poles of contrasting experience. There is also the space between, which isn't really space at all, not in the sense that it's void.
The problem is, we continuously skirt around our own pain and discomfort because we feel ill equipped to hold the tension of it in our lives as well as everything else we have to do, right? Healing is a full time job!
When we suppress one feeling we suppress FEELING. Given that art making is a direct result of internally experienced material, as wonderfully mundane as the natural inspiration of being alive, or as deeply challenging as feeling through and integrating deep grief and loss... feeling is paramount.
So the first challenge is that we believe we have to be 'put together' both physically and emotionally all the time, which is, well, not very interesting, is it, really?
This means we deny, suppress or project emotions that fall outside of such a limited scope that we've set for ourselves. This is what I think of when I see little girls in lovely dresses that aren't allowed to get dirty or jump in puddles...because they have to look neat. For the internal world, that's a disaster. The deep realms of the wild galactic soul care not for money in the bank, how things look or what our opinions are, they're operating with much more fiery material than all that.
The second challenge then, is that when we try to pursue a creative challenge or project, there are so many emotions we've been blocking off for years. These are mostly frustration, grief, anger and fear, but could manifest in any number of ways.
When these emotions arise, as they will, we would rather procrastinate, because the ' feeling and busting through frustration' muscle is weak. The 'my work is crap compared to other peoples work on Instagram' feeling is too much to feel through, so there's temptation to stop, and get distracted.
The more we feel the uncomfortable emotions that come up when we make creative work, the better we become at letting them be.
Dear one reading this, please know that if you have feelings of unworthiness or insecurity around your work, this is absolutely normal. Try to hold them in the way you would hold the feelings of an upset child. They are simply what is there. They will move in a few moments if you let yourself feel them.
I should also say, that if the feelings of unworthiness are due to a legitimate lack of skill, well then take some lessons, get skilled. Either way - do something.
This will help clear the channels so that more sensation, emotion and embodiment will come through, and this will of course include your desires to create, your natural inspiration as your response to this life.
Dear one, what you have to offer is unique, it can't ever be replaced or copied, it is your medicine.
By allowing the two furthest poles of your experience to exist in their duality, as they are, we strengthen our capacity to hold energy, and to receive more. More will mean more, so that could very well include discomfort and pain, as we're feeling what was there all along but we couldn't let ourselves feel it. I am always finding new layers of grief as well as deeper layers of love and belonging, often in the same crisis ;)
It should be stressed, that you never need to feel these feelings alone if you aren't able to or don't want to. There are countless skilled magicians in the form of somatic therapists, psychotherapists and many other healers, so please find the support you need, so that you can embody more and more of this human experience, and if you feel moved to, to share your unique perspective in whatever form is your medicine.
With love,
Loren
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After I and my husband got married, we relocated to another city and we both got jobs and started working and living together happily. We never had any problems until a colleague of his started doing all she can to get my husband’s attention. I never knew all along what was going until he started sleeping out and making excuses. Things got out of control and he eventually stopped attending to my needs. I knew at that point I needed help so I contacted Dr Isikolo and explained everything to him. He told me all that has been going and promised to fix the problems for me which he did. He cast a love reunion spell for me which reunited i and my husband and he started being the man I always loved him to be just after 48 hours Dr Isikolo worked for me. We are both happy now and it would not have been possible if not for Dr Isikolo. Contact him if you need any help. text him on WhatsApp him on +2348133261196 or review his website (https://isikolo-temple.com)
HOW TO GET YOUR EX HUSBAND BACK HELP OF DR KACHI CALL NUMBER +1 (209) 893-8075
God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com
Have you ever been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, dumped or left so heartbroken that you’re afraid to love again? I will advice to you to reach to this relationship specialist, He will restore and amend your relationship, Fast and reliable way to win your Ex back. Happy to have my boyfriend back after 3 months of breakup….
Email Robinsonbuckler11@gmail.com
Good day everyone on the internet. Dr Ughulu is a powerful and wonderful man on this earth. I lost my father one month ago and we were ready to celebrate his funeral so he can rest in peace. So I and my siblings were making a preparation for the burial ceremony, but at that moment I was broke and I have no funds on me for the funeral, so i decided to go online for a lottery search and when I was doing that i saw a comment on Facebook about how someone testified Dr. Ughulu for helping him win a Mage Million and he became a millionaire. So I cried to dr and explained my problem to him and he promised to help me win the Mega Millions lottery game which he did and send me the six winning numbers. I played the winning numbers and I was the first winner to get a text. Can you imagine Dr Ughulu made me win $335 Million Dollars. Everything happened in 24 hours after he finished casting the lottery spell for me. Help me thank Dr Ughulu for his good work well done in my life and family. I paid all the bills for my late father’s funeral. Text/Call: +1(252) 409-1841 or email: drughulupowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com or website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu
My name is Mavis Wanczyk, from Chicopee, Massachusetts. I’m excited to share my fantastic experience with Dr. Kachi, who is outstanding at lottery spell casting online. No matter where you are or how challenging your situation might be, Dr. Kachi can help you win in lotteries and other gambling games. If you’ve been searching for winning numbers without success, Dr. Kachi’s spells are known for providing the right numbers and lucky letters. Many have become millionaires after just one game using his powerful spells. I contacted Dr. Kachi shared the necessary details, and he provided me with six Powerball numbers: 6, 7, 16, 23 26, plus the Powerball number 4. I played them and won $758.7 Million! My life has changed dramatically, and I am incredibly thankful to Dr. Kachi. If you’re interested, you can reach Dr. Kachi by text or call at +1 (209) 893-8075, email him at drkachispellcast@gmail.com, or visit his website here https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site. Thank you so much, Dr. Kachi.
I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met two weeks ago,I cannot say everything he has done for me and my family I was going through online when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online how he won a lottery through the help of dr Ose I decided to just give it a try and my life is back to me now after i lost my job due to covid he gave me a winning numbers to play lottery and i won 5000usd for my first play since then i have been working with him and he has been giving me numbers to play my lottery i can not write everything he has done for me if you need a lottery spell today contact him on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com www.facebook.com/Dr-odion-spell-temple-110513923938220
whatsapp +2348136482342
I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met two weeks ago,I cannot say everything he has done for me and my family I was going through online when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online how he won a lottery through the help of dr Ose I decided to just give it a try and my life is back to me now after i lost my job due to covid he gave me a winning numbers to play lottery and i won 5000usd for my first play since then i have been working with him and he has been giving me numbers to play my lottery i can not write everything he has done for me if you need a lottery spell today contact him on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com www.facebook.com/Dr-odion-spell-temple-110513923938220
whatsapp +2348136482342
Hello everyone out there who is trying to win the lottery. I bring you goodnews on how you can win the lottery. I want to use this great opportunity to thank Dr Kumar for helping me to win the lottery Mega Millions, I saw a comment on a blog on how to get the winning numbers by contacting Dr Kumar and I also saw so many Testimonies about this same man Dr Kumar on how he gave out lottery winning numbers to so many people to win the lottery. I contacted him and he also sent me the lottery winning numbers which I played and I won $483 million ($256.9 million cash). You can contact Dr Kumar to get your winning numbers on email : spellcasttemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853
I have my husband back in my life with the help of Dr Oniha. He said sorry in 24hours after the spell was cast. He said he realized that he never really wanted to break up, he could not handle emotional baggage I was carrying around all the time. He said that he thought he was the negative influence on my life and thought it best to leave. He said it was hard that I kept talking about the past all the time. We have both forgiven each other. I have money in my pocket that is my own at last. (My compensation cheque came through. I was told it was months away. I am living proof of what Dr Oniha can do. I thank you so much ADr Oniha for the wonderful thing you did in my relationship. I am so happy now. With your help we were both able to see and speak the truth to each other. I never thought a spell could help a couple before I am very pleased contacting you and initiating all this to happen. Anyone who has a relationship problem can contact Dr Oniha via
EMAIL:onihaspelltemple@gmail.com
Call/Whatsapp number: +16692213962
website:http://onihaspells.com
CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER FOR LOTTERY WINNINGS AND ANY OTHER KIND OF HELP NEEDED. WhatsApp +234-8133261196
I am very grateful for sharing this great testimonies with you, The best thing that has ever happened in my life is how I won the lottery. I am a woman who believes that one day I will win the lottery. Finally my dreams came true when I emailed Dr Isikolo and told him I needed the lottery numbers. I have come a long way spending money on tickets just to make sure I win. But I never knew that winning was so easy until the day I meant the spell caster online which so many people have talked about. He is very great at casting lottery spells, so I decided to give it a try.I contacted this man and he did a spell and he gave me the winning lottery numbers. But believe me when the draws were out I was among the winners. I won $1.900.000USD. DR ISIKOLO truly you are the best, with this man, you can win millions of money through the lottery. I am so very happy to meet these man, i will forever be grateful to you. Text him via WhatsApp +234-8133261196 or review his webpage (https://isikolo-temple.com)
I couldn’t never thought I was going to get my EX lover back but the moment I contacted Dr Ughulu I got her back within 24 hours. I saw Dr ughulu on a group of United states so i visited his page and I saw he is spell caster so i decided to send him a message for him to help me bring back my wife so I texted him and i give him the reason why i text him and he said it shouldn’t bother me i am getting her back immediately i was so very happy Dr ughulu arrange everything to cast a love spell on her that brought back my wife within 24 hours. She’s now with me. I’m very grateful to know Dr Ughulu. Thank you so much sir.
Website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu
EMAIL: drughulupowerfulspelltemple@gmail.com
Call number Text number: +1(252) 409-1841
When I found Dr.Oniha I was in desperate need of bringing my ex lover back. He left me for another woman. It happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. He just dumped me after 3 years with no explanation. I contacted Dr.Oniha through his website and He told me what I need to do before he can help me and I did what he told me, after i provided what he wanted, he cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did his spell, my boyfriend started texting me again and felt horrible for what he just put me through. He said that I was the most important person in his life and he knows that now. We moved in together and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than before. Ever since Dr.Oniha helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. I highly recommend Dr. Oniha to anyone in need of relationship/marriage help.
Email:onihaspelltemple@gmail.com
Call/Whatsapp +16692213962
Website on http://onihaspells.com
When I found Dr.Oniha I was in desperate need of bringing my ex lover back. He left me for another woman. It happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. He just dumped me after 3 years with no explanation. I contacted Dr.Oniha through his website and He told me what I need to do before he can help me and I did what he told me, after i provided what he wanted, he cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did his spell, my boyfriend started texting me again and felt horrible for what he just put me through. He said that I was the most important person in his life and he knows that now. We moved in together and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than before. Ever since Dr.Oniha helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before. I highly recommend Dr. Oniha to anyone in need of relationship/marriage help.
Email:onihaspelltemple@gmail.com
Call/Whatsapp +16692213962
Website on http://onihaspells.com
Hello everyone! With immense joy in my heart, I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to an incredible lottery spell psychic, Priest Ray. For years, I played the lottery daily, hoping for a rewarding outcome, but despite my efforts and the various tips I tried, success seemed elusive. Then, everything changed when I discovered Priest Ray. After requesting a lottery spell, he cast it for me and provided me with the lucky winning numbers. I can’t believe it—I am now a proud lottery winner of $3,000,000! I felt compelled to share my experience with all of you who have been tirelessly trying to win the lottery. There truly is a simpler and more effective way to achieve your dreams. If you’ve ever been searching for a way to increase your chances of winning, I encourage you to reach out via email: psychicspellshrine@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +12133525735
website: psychicspellshrine.wixsite.com/my-site
I had to write back and say what an amazing experience I had with lord richard, the world’s most powerful lottery spell caster. My Heart is filled with joy and happiness after lord richard cast the Lottery spell for me and I won £4,369,877. His lottery spell changed my life into riches, I’m now out of debt and experiencing the most amazing good life after I won a huge amount of money. lord richard your Lottery spell is so real and pure. God bless you for the lottery spell that changed my life for the best, I am totally grateful for the lottery spelll lord richard did for me. You can contact him from any part of the world for special lottery numbers…
EMAIL: lordrichardspell@gmail.com
WHATSAPP: +1(360)884-0286
I had to write back and say what an amazing experience I had with lord richard, the world’s most powerful lottery spell caster. My Heart is filled with joy and happiness after lord richard cast the Lottery spell for me and I won £4,369,877. His lottery spell changed my life into riches, I’m now out of debt and experiencing the most amazing good life after I won a huge amount of money. lord richard your Lottery spell is so real and pure. God bless you for the lottery spell that changed my life for the best, I am totally grateful for the lottery spelll lord richard did for me. You can contact him from any part of the world for special lottery numbers…
EMAIL: lordrichardspell@gmail.com
WHATSAPP: +1(360)884-0286
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